


And the tears come streaming down your face

by a_kiwi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Child Abuse, M/M, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6818575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_kiwi/pseuds/a_kiwi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lights will guide you home...<br/>And ignite your bones...<br/>And I will try to fix you.</p><p>                    -</p><p>When Asahi finds out Nishinoya's father is abusive, he knows he has to do something to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the tears come streaming down your face

**Author's Note:**

> First, thanks for clicking on this story!  
> This is my first Haikyuu!! fic, so hopefully it won't be too horrible. I apologize if there's any inconsistencies, and I've done my best to make this fic enjoyable for all readers, and I hope you don't mind gross amounts of detail. (Okay, it's probably not that bad.)  
> Before the fic starts, I'd like to take the time to thank a few of my friends for reading this and giving advice (not going to name them though). I asked them to read it, and they all really enjoyed it, so I hope that you, the reader, will too. They also had to put up with me constantly gushing about writing this story. (So thanks, guys.)  
> Feel free to leave feedback, and enjoy!
> 
> [Also, this is a songfic: the song is Fix You by Coldplay, which you could listen to to get a better understanding of the story.]

Yuu had more problems than he’d like to admit.  
  
He never focused much on his schoolwork, which had a toll on his grades, but he kept them on a passing level so he could play volleyball. And yes, Yuu loved volleyball. Whenever he was daydreaming in class, it was mostly about the sport. He’d stare out the window and go over strategies for upcoming games, tournaments, and practice matches in his head over and over again until the final bell rang and his head ached from thought. Yuu would hastily gather his things and rush out the door, sprinting past students with a wild grin on his face. And when Yuu Nishinoya stepped onto the court, adorned in his Karasuno Volleyball Club #4 jersey, he felt unstoppable. No, he was unstoppable. Every block the opponent made to Karasuno’s spike was a chance for Yuu to test his skills over and over, sliding across the court in unimaginable ways to keep the ball off the ground. He was special, he was important, and he was Karasuno’s Guardian Deity.  
  
Yuu loved volleyball. He loved the feeling of his limbs moving at top speeds, he loved the feeling of the air ripping through his hair and hissing in his ears. He loved the admiration when he received a ball thought unsavable. He loved the cheers he and his team gave when they scored a point. He loved the pride and exhilaration of winning a game, especially against a tough opponent.  
  
But, Yuu loved one thing more than he loved volleyball. He’d doodle their face lightly in the margins of his notes, and then erase it before anyone saw. He never thought himself as an artist, but some of the drawings weren’t half bad, and Yuu kept those hidden in the corner of his room, under a loose floorboard.  
  
When it was three in the morning and all outside was still and sleeping, and Yuu enjoyed the serenity, a low growl of a car would pull into his driveway- his father’s car- Yuu’s mind would go into a state of panic and his heart would pound against his chest achingly, and he’d lift the floorboard and gaze at the drawings and pictures of them inside, he calmed, knowing the next day at volleyball practice he’d be safe, okay, and within their presence. And when he heard his father’s feet slamming against the stairs, hastily Yuu would close the floorboard and move away from it. Yuu’s door would slam open and he knew that he’d have to lie about the purple bruises and crimson cuts which would cover his arms the next day.  
  
And when his father would yell at him, he felt all his courage and delight from the day’s events slip away, leaving him in a husk of a body which only knew the pain and suffering he endured every night. Harsh strings of words would slur out of his drunk mouth, aimed at Yuu.  
  
_“A disgrace! You’re a disgrace of a son! All you ever do is waste your time with that gay sport, I wouldn’t be surprised if you turned out like it,”  
“You’re nobody.”  
“I wish you had died in your mother; I wish she’d gotten an abortion.”  
“I hate you.”_  
  
When Yuu couldn’t take any more, and his father was finished releasing his anger to his son like he was nothing other than a ragdoll, he’d back up and turn around swiftly, slamming the door shut behind him. Yuu was left in his room, his ears ringing, all-too-familiar tears briskly tracing paths on his cheeks, and his mind and body damaged.  
  
No one knew about the abuse. Yuu’s mother, a kind and gentle lady, whom Yuu decided was the exact opposite of his father, was asleep when they took place. His father treated his mother like an angel, as if a slight touch would harm her. He never let her see the side of him that was an alcoholic and a child abuser, and it was a tough job. He kept Yuu in line with threats not only to his own but to his mother’s life, and anyone else he cared about. Yuu’s father was there only to make his life a living hell and nothing else. He didn’t support Yuu’s love of volleyball. He wouldn’t support Yuu if he told the truth about the pictures and drawings stuffed under the floor. He wouldn’t support Yuu if he told his father about his daydreams during not only class but volleyball, or his thoughts crowding his head in the night when he was trying to sleep.  
  
When Yuu thought about them, it was like all of his problems were sliding away into a distant fantasy. And when Yuu was near them, he was invincible. He saved his crush’s blocked spikes, and he’d move the ball to the setter so his crush could try again. During practice he thought about the way his crush’s brown bun would seem to float when he was spiking mid-air. He thought about the way his crush could break past the blockers triumphantly. And when the ball didn’t make it through the blockers, Yuu was there to save the day like the hero he knew he wasn’t. Yuu thought about the way his crush would smile, how his face would curve upwards in a gentle smile when he scored. Yuu thought about the way his crush clapped him on the back after a round where Yuu saved a particularly difficult ball. Yuu’s heart would stop when his crush congratulated him, and Yuu would grin back in response.  
  
Nishinoya Yuu’s father would kill him if he found out he was in love with Azumane Asahi.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


Nishinoya pulled his black gakuran’s sleeves over his hands. There was a nasty bruise on his left wrist, one which he didn’t want many people noticing. His cover story was always- “ _Oh, I was just practicing volleyball the other day, it’s nothing I don’t have to deal with regularly_ ,”- and people would believe him, knowing how physically demanding the sport was. Of course, Noya knew the first part wasn’t true. However, he did always have to deal with the bruises and physical pains from the beatings at night. It was never something he liked to tell people about.  
  
While the teacher was instructing on the day’s math lesson, Yuu’s mind wandered as he doodled Asahi’s face in his notes. He thought about the volleyball practice later that day. Daichi told them that today they’d be practicing spikes when attacking against blocks and devising strategies if a team were to catch on to every attack or signal they used. Yuu was excited, like he normally was, because he would get to see Asahi and the others (but mostly Asahi) energetic and happy, like every other time they got into the game.  
  
When Noya finished the doodle, he quickly erased it and glanced up at the chalkboard, scribbling down what the teacher was writing. As he was copying the notes, the teacher uttered something and the class was silent. Everyone seemed to be staring at Yuu, but he didn’t take notice of the others’ eyes or the dead silence of the classroom.  
  
“Well, Nishinoya Yuu?” The teacher asked. Noya looked up from his notes, his pencil slowing to a stop. A light pink shade settled on his cheeks.  
  
“W-what?” He croaked in response. He felt his stomach churn with anxiety.  
  
“I said,” he pointed to an equation on the board, which the teacher left blank for the purpose of a student to answer it. “What are the roots of the function?”  
  
“Uh,” Noya glanced at his notes, which were scrawled so messily that barely even he himself could read them. “The roots are…” He dragged on the last syllable as he tried to do the math in his head.  
  
The teacher turned to the class. “Who wants to aid Yuu?”  
  
Noya glanced around the class nervously, and returned to trying to do the work. A girl raised her hand and answered, “The roots are 2.6 and -18.9.”  
  
“Thank you.” The teacher said, turning back to Noya. “And you, Nishinoya, the root of the function is also known as…” he trailed off, waiting for Noya to finish the sentence for him.  
  
Yuu already had the first root worked out, but his mind was deep in concentration when the teacher had to snap to receive Noya’s attention again.  
  
“O-oh, roots are also known as…” He faltered, staring at his notes, his face burning with embarrassment. “Y intercept?”  
  
The teacher turned towards the board and shook his head. “I’m afraid that’s incorrect, Yuu.”  
  
Noya’s eyes flicked around the room. His classmates surrounding him were holding in laughter; he could see the etches on their faces.  
  
“Roots of the function refer to X intercept,” the teacher scrawled on the board, “of course you’d know that if you had paid any attention.” He commented snidely. The class burst into laughter, and Noya hid his face in the collar of his gakuran.  
  
And as the teacher continued with the lesson, Noya continued with his daydreaming. He thought about, well, he’d rather not like to admit, but Noya thought about Asahi. He thought about the way Asahi’s arms moved when he spiked the ball- fluid, Noya figured, they moved as if his hands were scooping through water. He would move so smoothly and in sync with Sugawara and Kageyama’s tosses that it momentarily distracted Noya from his position as libero, although he only allowed his mind to wander during practices.  
  
Naturally, Noya was so distracted that he didn’t notice the final bell of the day chiming throughout the school. He only realized when people were chatting loudly with their friends and leaving the classroom.  
  
_The end of the school day, which means the start of volleyball practice_ , Noya thought while gathering his things. He grinned to himself and made his way towards the door. Just as he was about to leave, he heard his name.  
  
“Nishinoya Yuu.” His heart stopped, and not in a good way. Of course, the voice came from his teacher.  
  
“Yes?” Noya asked, turning around and striding to his teacher’s desk.  
  
“You haven’t been paying attention in class.” _Well, duh_ , Noya thought. “What’s on your mind that’s more important than your work?”  
  
“Volleyball.” Noya choked out immediately. It wasn’t entirely a lie, since he did think about volleyball a lot. But there was no reason to tell about Asahi.  
  
“Volleyball.” His teacher nodded, but it looked as though he didn’t understand Noya’s obsession with the sport. By this time, it was Noya and his teacher alone in the room- everyone else had left. “A sport is taking your mind off your classwork. And if you don’t keep your grades high, you won’t be able to play at all.”  
  
“I know.” Nishinoya uttered through grit teeth.  
  
“I might have to tell your advisor about your daydreams in class-”  
  
“No!” Noya interrupted. He cleared his throat. “I mean, no, please don’t tell him, the team needs me and I need them…” He fiddled with the cuffs of his gakuran. “I’ll focus more, I swear.”  
  
“Your word means nothing to me, Nishinoya. But if you fail the next test, you won’t be going back to another club meeting for a while.” His teacher sighed. “Take this as a warning.”  
  
“Thank you, sensei,” Noya muttered before heading out of the room and to his long-awaited volleyball practice.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


When Nishinoya arrived at volleyball practice, he was ecstatic. He felt that way every time he showed up. When he was playing, the bruises on his body didn’t matter anymore. What would happen later in the silence of that night didn’t matter. The hell his father put him through every day didn’t matter. All that Noya cared about was keeping the ball off the ground so Asahi could spike it. They were a pair. They were invincible. And Noya loved that about playing volleyball. Of course, he felt that way about everyone else, but when he and Asahi played together, they brought out each other’s strengths that not even they themselves knew they had.  
  
As he walked through the door to the gym, a familiar hand clapped him on the back, then started laughing uncontrollably when Noya jumped from the sudden gesture.  
  
“Ryu!” Noya yelled in response, rubbing his shoulder as Tanaka kept laughing. Everyone else on the team was in the gym, practicing, but no one except Tanaka noticed that Noya had just arrived.  
  
When he settled down, he replied, “Where have you been, Noya, we’ve all waited fifteen minutes for you,” A cheeky grin crept up Tanaka’s face, “Has sensei yelled at you for daydreaming again?”  
  
Noya frowned, and didn’t answer in response. He simply began to set his stuff down and change into his jersey, and when Ryu didn’t get a response he began snickering. “Oh, so he did? Tell me, Noya-san, was it about-”  
  
“Everyone!” Daichi called, drawing attention to himself. Ryu shook his head and and made his way to the group, Noya close behind.  
  
“Now that Nishinoya’s here, we can finally begin practice. Tsukishima, Kageyama, and Yamaguchi, you three will be blocking, everyone else will be spiking, Suga will be setting, and Nishinoya will be following up the blocks with recieves. Any questions?” No one replied, and Daichi nodded. “Spikers, into a line, Suga and Nishinoya, you stay on the court,”  
  
As Noya moved to his side, he drowned out a lot of what Daichi was saying. He didn’t realize practice had started until the ball was flung in his direction, and his hands automatically moved to receive it. The line moved quickly- Hinata was spiking, then Tanaka was spiking, then Daichi was spiking- but whenever the ball didn’t hit past the blocks, Noya returned it with ease. And as Asahi stepped up, Noya thought he saw the giant third year smile at him. Asahi knew Noya could always be there to save the spikes that were blocked. And Noya knew he could always return the ball to his ace-  
  
_My ace? What the hell am I thinking? He’s our ace, everyone at Karasuno…_ Noya’s thought trailed off. He kind of enjoyed the sound of the words “his ace”.  
  
Asahi spiked the ball through the blockers, perfectly (Nishinoya thought). The line continued, and Daichi switched out the blockers from time to time, but sometimes when Asahi spiked, it would be blocked, and Nishinoya was there.  
  
“Nice receive!” Asahi would call after every time the ball hit Noya’s arms. Nishinoya would always grin and something cool in response, like, “I’m Karasuno’s Guardian Deity!” and Tanaka would clap his shoulder, and the practice would continue.  
  
It worked like that until the sun set, washing the city in a orange light until it left the horizon and the only celestial light was emitting from the moon and the stars. Practice continued until the sky was a dark blue like the bottom of a deep ocean. The boys in the Karasuno Volleyball Club kept working without interruption until they were all nearly ready to collapse in exhaustion. Well, Hinata did collapse and not until then did Daichi realize the team was probably tired and needed to go home.  
  
“Hinata! Are you okay?” Suga yelled when he heard the thud of the first year’s body hit the ground. He ran to Hinata and helped him sit up. Hinata just laughed, and Suga smiled, too, but Daichi was still shocked from his sudden collapse- he figured Hinata had enough energy to play volleyball for days on end. Tanaka and Nishinoya were cackling off to the side.  
  
“Ha,” Hinata panted, “I’m fine, but we should probably clean up now, it’s nearly nine…”  
  
Suga turned to Daichi. “You didn’t keep track of time?”  
  
The captain shrugged. “I should have paid more attention, but Coach Ukai could’ve reminded us-”  
  
“You guys were into it, I figured you didn’t want to be stopped,” Ukai responded.  
  
Takeda laughed. “You didn’t notice their fatigue?”  
  
Flustered, Ukai rolled his eyes and ignored Takeda’s remark. “Tomorrow morning, we’ll be splitting into two teams to practice getting past blocks in a match and block-follows in a match. Sorry practice ran so much later than usual.” Everyone nodded, and Ukai clapped his hands together. “So get out the brooms and start cleaning!”  
  
Noya was chatting absentmindedly while him and Asahi were putting away the net. “Did you see everyone’s spikes today, Asahi-san? They were great, everyone is really working hard as a team… and your spikes were great as usual, too,” Noya felt his neck heat up as he complimented Asahi, “you even hit past the blockers a lot, and so did Ryu, and Tsukishima’s feints were effective, and I can even tell Hinata’s gaining a bit of strength, too,”  
  
Asahi nodded. “Yeah.” He and Noya found themselves alone in the storage room.  
  
“I don’t really want to leave yet, I know it’s late, but I love volleyball, and I could keep playing for hours.” Noya sighed. He wasn’t looking forward to that night, when his father would arrive, and he’d have to lie about another bruise on his arms the next day.  
  
“We can tell.” Asahi laughed, putting his hand on the back of his neck. Noya tried to suppress the blush which was creeping it’s way onto his cheeks. “Sometimes I wish my mom was at home more often, she’s always at work...” The giant (to Noya, at least) seemed to bring up randomly.  
  
“Sometimes I wish my dad was away more.” Came slipping out of Noya’s unfiltered mouth. Asahi had a puzzled look on his face.  
“Why? What’s wrong with you and your dad?” He asked. Noya averted his eyes after realizing what he said, and he didn’t answer for a moment.  
“Nothing,” he lied. “It’s fine.”  
  
Noya left the storage room promptly and picked up his bag in the gym. “Nishinoya!” Asahi yelled, but Noya didn’t glance back as he sprinted out the door, his throat and eyes burning as he blinked back tears.  
He kept running until he was far away from Karasuno, and he hoped to whatever omnipotent deity that happened to be watching over him that Asahi wouldn’t follow.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


“What was that about?” Suga questioned Asahi, as they were the only two left in the gym. “Is Nishinoya okay?”  
  
Asahi stared at the door which Noya had just so suddenly sprinted out of, and cleared his throat. He could have sworn that he saw suppressed tears in Noya’s eyes- Asahi didn’t want to think about Noya crying. He had such an animated personality… crying wasn’t something he thought Noya did often. “I don’t think so.” His mind was full of worry for Noya- he just wanted him to be okay, and it didn’t occur to Asahi that Noya might have had some hidden resentment toward his father. He wished Noya would have talked to him about it. Seeing as he didn’t, well… it made Asahi think Nishinoya couldn’t trust him.  
  
“Come on, Asahi, let’s walk home together, then you can tell me what happened.” Suga slung his backpack over his shoulder. Asahi nodded and grabbed his backpack also, and the two closed up the gym and made their way to their houses (which weren’t far apart).  
  
“Noya probably has a toxic relationship with his father,” Asahi started. “He mentioned how he wished he away more often, and then I asked why, and he ran out so suddenly…” Asahi stared at his shoes. “Was it something I said? Did I offend him? Is he going to hate me?”  
  
“Asahi, Nishinoya would never hate you.” Asahi glanced at Suga. “But you say his father… Have you ever met his father? Has anyone on the team ever met his father?”  
  
“Tanaka, maybe,” Asahi replied. “I myself haven’t.”  
  
Suga nodded. “Then why don’t you go see for yourself?”  
  
Asahi’s eyes widened, and his heart skipped a beat. “S-see for myself?”  
  
“Just go to Nishinoya’s house tomorrow morning, and walk to school with him. I’m sure he’d love the surprise.” The shorter male said simply. “If you meet his father, you could guess what kind of relationship they have.”  
  
Asahi laughed. “You say it like it’s so easy.”  
  
“It is.”  
  
The taller male shook his head. “Alright, if you say so. I’ll go there tomorrow morning to walk with him to practice.”  
  
Suga playfully punched Asahi on the arm. “Go get ‘em.” He tittered, walking up to the front door of his house, which the two had just reached. “See you tomorrow!”  
  
Asahi waved, and Suga disappeared into the house. Once he was alone, he sighed. Asahi looked up at the twinkling stars, as if they were going to give him guidance and answers on how to save the brown-eyed, exuberant, libero love of his life.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


Nishinoya Yuu’s feet slammed against the sidewalk as he darted away from Karasuno and towards the agonizing pit that was his house. His heart felt as though it would burst out of his chest with every pulse, but he didn’t stop running. He didn’t care that with every stride he was coming closer and closer to the domain where his father ruled and he was nothing but a failure. He just wanted to get away from the shame he felt when he lied to Asahi.  
  
Noya was wiping away the bitter tears on his cheeks when he noticed his father’s car in the driveway, and the light emitting from the window to his room. He felt his heart sink and in that moment, Yuu was filled with a feeling of despair that he never wanted.  
  
He rushed into the house- it was nearly nine thirty, and his mom was fast asleep in her bedroom. As the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs filled the house, Noya stashed his backpack in the kitchen and braced himself for what was to come.  
  
Yuu was facing away when his father appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. Noya was standing there, his whole body quivering in fear. He rubbed his right thumb gently over the bruise on his left wrist. For a moment, neither of them said anything.  
  
“Face me.” His father’s voice was a low growl. Noya did not comply. “I said, face me.”  
  
Yuu turned around, his eyes full of all the hate and rage he had gathered for his father- ever since he started abusing Noya, which was a year and a half ago, but it hadn’t been on a daily basis until a few months ago. His face was tear-stained, and he was still shaking.  
  
His father’s face harboured the same resentment for his son. He was always cleanly shaved, his white hair was neatly combed, and his jet black suit tailored to perfection. The whole ensemble he adorned was methodically orchestrated as if to say, “ _I’m better than you,_ ”. But his chestnut- colored eyes shone with an unrivaled bitterness.  
  
He smirked maliciously. “I didn’t know there was a loose floorboard in your room,”  
  
Noya’s heart almost stopped, and fear flushed through his veins. He drew in a shaky breath and willed himself not to break into gasping sobs. He recalled his father’s words from the first beating: “ _Crying shows weakness; only the strong survive,_ ”.  
  
His father took a long stride toward his son. Once he ended up standing right in front of Yuu, he placed a cold hand on Yuu’s cheek, who bit the inside of his mouth so hard that it began to bleed in an attempt not to cry.  
  
“You’ve been hiding something from me there.”  
  
“H-have I?” Yuu replied, trying to sound snarky but instead sounding afraid and uncertain.  
  
His father threw him to the ground, Yuu landing harshly on the rigid tile, cold as his father’s touch. “Tell me what it is.”  
  
“Look for yourself.” Noya spat.  
  
“Tell me, Yuu, what are you hiding from me?” His father kicked him hard in the ribs. Noya clenched his hands around his arms.  
  
“Pictures.” Noya would have only gotten hurt worse if he refused. Then again, Noya would have been hurt regardless.  
  
“Of?”  
  
Yuu didn’t want to answer. Yuu didn’t know _how_ to answer. Yuu’s unresponsiveness earned him a kick to the chin.  
  
“A p-person,” He stuttered.  
  
“Is this person special to you?”  
  
_Of course_ , Noya thought, _Asahi’s beyond special. He’s the stars in my sky, he’s the rainbow behind the rain, he’s the only person who seems to care, he’s the only person I- he’s the only person I love_.  
  
He remembered only last spring during the tournament- the frustration Asahi felt during that match was almost tangible, pushing its way through the whole team and into the crowd that was watching the Karasuno vs Date Tech game. Every time his hand slammed against the ball, it was blocked, and the ball bouncing off the cold ground only added to the anger the team felt at their own inability to play. He remembered how discouraged Asahi was afterward, how discouraged everyone was afterward, and his conversation with the ace afterward. Nishinoya remembered how only a month after that, the new first years convinced Asahi to return to the team, and he had been happy and complete ever since. Noya didn’t enjoy the period where he was suspended from the club, but once he and Asahi returned there was a new rekindled passion that everyone seemed to feel. He remembered every moment during their practices when Asahi would score a point; how happy he felt, and how happy Noya would feel for him. And when Noya received a ball, he saw Asahi’s face swell with pride and joy. He felt the love deep in his heart, flowing through his veins and reaching through the corners of his body. He never felt that way with anyone else.  
  
But he only said, “Yes.”  
  
Noya’s father stepped away. “Stand up.” He demanded. “Why don’t I have myself a little peek at your collection?”  
  
Yuu stood slowly, propping himself up against the counter. “Go ahead.”  
  
“Come with me.”  
  
They walked up the stairs, dread filling Noya’s limbs, until they reached his room and his father pulled up the loose floorboard. He pulled out numbers of small doodles, pictures of Asahi taken from volleyball pictures, pictures of Asahi and Noya together, that Tanaka took one day…  
  
The tension in the air was almost tangible as his father stared at Asahi’s pictures in complete rage and loathing.  
  
“Who is this?” He growled. Noya couldn’t hold back his sobs anymore. Tears pricked at his eyes and fell down his cheeks as he gasped for something to say, but he knew no words that he could string together that would lighten the situation.  
  
Noya’s father turned and grabbed his son’s shirt collar, throwing him to the ground once more. “Who is he?”  
  
“H-he’s… he’s a friend,”  
  
“He’s obviously more than a friend, if you keep pictures of him in your room.” Glancing at the pictures once more, his father growled in disgust. “You’re just like that dumb sport of yours. You and all the others who like it.”  
  
There was silence as he flipped through the pictures. After a moment, he tore at them, malice etched onto his face, but he showed no care for the mementos. A sob escaped Yuu’s lips, tears pushing at the corners of his eyes, but not spilling out. He took a deep breath and suppressed the tears, ignoring the burning in his throat.  
  
“What?” His father asked bitterly. He stared at Yuu’s grief-stricken face, then dropped the shreds onto the ground. “Oh, but I see, you _care_ about him.” Without looking, he stomped on Yuu’s leg. “You’re crying over his stupid pictures. Do you love him?”  
  
Noya didn’t answer.  
  
“Do you love him?!” His father asked, raising his voice.  
  
Noya didn’t answer.  
  
Noya’s father grabbed his son’s shirt and pulled him up, so they could look each other eye- to- eye.  
  
“Do. You. Love. Him?”  
  
Yuu stared his father in the eyes- the same stone cold stare his father gave him, the same stare that was so full of malice and hate, the same stare Yuu had endured for what seemed like his whole life- and whispered, once again, “Yes.”  
  
Silence settled in the house like a thick fog.  
  
Noya’s father slapped him.  
  
Yuu’s cheek stung, pain bubbling up in prickles around his raw skin.  
  
“Where did I go wrong?” His father growled.  
  
“When you began abusing me.”  
  
“Look how you turned out, Yuu, an abomination, you’re an abomination,” he muttered, “my son is an abomination.”  
  
Yuu didn’t reply.  
  
“I’m just going to have to beat it into you, aren’t I?” He unclasped his belt and drew it from the loops in his pants. Furiously, he stepped back, and lashed it across Yuu’s chest. He felt the stiff leather against his shirt, digging into his skin.  
  
Yuu didn’t cry out.  
  
His father whipped the belt time after time, over and over again, but Yuu didn’t give in. Each lash left behind pain and anguish, his skin prickling, but he couldn’t give in.  
  
There were no more tears left; no more sadness remained in Yuu’s mind. All he felt was a blind rage, and emptiness. He felt empty. There was no love for his father in there, no love for his oblivious mother who lay sleeping, serene, and unknowing. He was sure that somewhere in there, probably, was his emotions for Asahi, his team, and volleyball, but he couldn’t reach those.  
  
“Damn it, Yuu!” His father cried out, after his son’s stoic expression didn’t change. He kicked Noya hard in the shin, who tried to bear it with a straight face. “Damn it!” His father yelled again. “I swear, if I ever see that- that boy- who you- you’re-”  
  
“You can hurt me all you want. You can treat me like your punching bag. I can come home every day and be your tool that you use to vent out your anger. You can spit out as many harsh words that come into your head. I don’t care. But…” Noya looked down at his shoes, “you will _never_ hurt Asahi.”  
  
“When I find your boyfriend, I swear, Yuu, his blood on my hands will be the last thing he sees.”  
  
Noya drew in a shaky breath. He clenched his fists in anger, nails digging into the heel of his palms. “Y-You… you will _never_ -,” His father’s threat was the last straw. He had to do something about this now. A tear slid down his cheek, but he didn’t realize it. He fixed his gaze back to his father’s loveless eyes. “-hurt Asahi.” He grabbed his father by the collar of his suit- a bold thing to do- and yelled, “ _NEVER!_ You don’t _understand_ , Dad, you don’t _understand_ how I feel because you’ve _never_ loved anyone yourself!”  
  
His father stood, thrust into immediate shock and fury by his son’s actions.  
  
“Don’t touch me.” He snarled, prying Yuu’s hands off his tailored suit and shoving it away. “You _will_ treat me with respect-”  
  
“You don’t deserve respect,” Yuu hissed. “You don’t deserve love, you don’t deserve happiness, you don’t deserve anything-”  
  
“Yuu, I could end your life right now, as soon as I began it-”  
  
“Go ahead,” he whispered, “do it.”  
  
Yuu’s astonishing comment stopped his father, who took a step away from his son and dusted off his suit as if Yuu was tracking filth on his refined ensemble. After processing his son’s challenge, he held up the belt, and more lashes whipped across Yuu’s chest, etching trails of heartbreak and suffering with every strike, damaging Yuu’s body as well as his mind: the experience was traumatizing, as with every thrash came a new derogatory statement.  
  
_“Worthless,”  
“He doesn’t love you,”  
“You’re just like that sport: gay, my son is gay, and so is everyone on your damned team,”  
“Who would ever care about you?”  
“You make me sick,”_  
  
And when it was one in the morning, and Nishinoya Yuu’s chest was raw and blood was soaking through his white shirt, and his father was fatigued and panting, he stopped, looping the belt back through the loops, and left the room like he did every night: slamming the door behind him, leaving Yuu feeling that all his words were true and he really was nobody, he really was weak, and Asahi didn’t love him. And at that moment all the stars in the sky- the universe- held it’s breath as the young boy drifted to unconsciousness- laying on the ground in a crimson-stained shirt, his mind shattered into pieces beyond repair.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


Nishinoya was in the shower when the heard the doorbell chime throughout the house. Wondering who it was, he finished cleaning up and threw on his Karasuno uniform, stopping for a moment only to glance at the red scars coating his chest. Ignoring the prickling stings of pain, he buttoned up his gakuran and left the bathroom while styling his hair up messily with the hair gel, leaving the dirty blonde streak down like he always did.  
“Yuu?” His father called from the front door- his voice, like always, devoid of compassion. “You have a visitor.”  
  
Nishinoya’s heart stopped when he was Azumane Asahi standing in the threshold of his front door.  
  
_When I find your boyfriend, I swear, Yuu, his blood on my hands will be the last thing he sees._  
  
He stopped halfway down the stairs, staring blankly at Asahi’s gentle smile.  
  
_-you will never hurt Asahi._  
  
“Hey, Asahi-san,” Noya grinned, covering his stunned expression, and ignoring his father’s hateful expression, glaring at the boy in the door and then Yuu, “w-what are you doing here?”  
  
Asahi reached for the back of his neck with one hand, a gesture he did often, and clutched his backpack strap with another. “Oh, I figured we could walk to school, since we have morning practice and all,” he glanced at Yuu’s father, who had fixed a- was that… disappointed? (he couldn’t tell; it was like Yuu’s father was trying to mask his emotions)- gaze at Yuu.  
  
“Yeah, let me grab my stuff, give me a minute,” Yuu rushed back up the stairs and into his room, heart beating wildly. _What was his father going to do? Would Asahi be okay? Would Asahi realize what was going on?_ Yuu bit his lip, tears pricking hotly in the corners of his eyes, but he pushed them away for the thousandth time in his life. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, wiped the corners of his eyes and left his room, gently shutting the door behind him.  
  
While Yuu was upstairs, his father said nothing to Asahi. The third-year knew, however, that something was wrong- Yuu was glad Asahi was there, like Suga predicted, but his father, on the other hand- his father hated Asahi, and they hadn’t even met before. Asahi shifted on his feet awkwardly. Yuu’s father glanced at him.  
  
Asahi tried to think of something to break the silence, but he couldn’t pull any words together that would lighten the situation. Just when Asahi thought he couldn’t handle the tension, Noya appeared at the base of the steps, ready to leave. And without a word, Yuu left the house with Asahi, his father shutting the door behind them.  
  
He was surprised that neither Yuu nor his father had said anything.  
  
“Does you father even care about you?” Asahi said suddenly. It was uncharacteristic for the gentle giant to not think about his words before speaking, but for Nishinoya to be depressed and abused was also uncharacteristic for the small second- year.  
“He-” Nishinoya stopped himself. He didn’t want to Asahi to know. It would just be a burden on his ace’s shoulders.  
  
“Nishinoya, if something’s wrong, you can’t bottle it up,” Asahi replied gently. “Is there something going on?”  
  
“No, no, it’s fine, everything is fine,” Noya lied, staring at the sidewalk and not Asahi, who was looking down at the second- year in concern. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” The more times Nishinoya told himself that, the more times he could actually think it to be true- but he knew it wasn’t. He knew it never would be.  
  
“You sound like you have to tell yourself that a lot, Noya,” Asahi muttered. Noya felt his throat get hot and his eyes swim with tears, but he couldn’t let them spill. He turned his face away from Asahi so he couldn’t see Noya’s face..  
“Hey,” Asahi placed his hand on Noya’s shoulder. Noya, in response, put his hand on Asahi’s. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
  
“I-” Yuu croaked, “don’t know,”  
  
Asahi sighed, reaching down to grab Noya’s other hand. The third- year was extremely shy and modest, so an aggressive feat like this was very rare, but Asahi felt that in this situation, it was the best thing to do. Nishinoya appreciated the gesture, and was accepting of it. The two blushed slightly at the contact.  
  
“Noya,” Asahi said suddenly, “you have a bruise on your chin.”  
  
Normally no one commented on Nishinoya’s bruises, but Asahi thought this one to be odd- Noya hadn’t hurt himself on his chin anytime during practice.  
“I know,” he responded.  
  
“Does it hurt?”  
  
“No.” Yuu lied.  
  
Asahi rubbed Noya’s wrist with his thumb, who flinched at the contact with the already-a-deep-purple bruise on his wrist. “What’s wrong?” Asahi asked, pulling up Noya’s sleeve ever so slightly, eyes widening at the sudden burst of color- the purple contrasted greatly against Nishinoya’s pale skin.  
  
“I got it while diving to save a ball the other day,” Noya lied.  
  
“I didn’t know being a libero was really that demanding.”  
  
Nishinoya nodded.  
  
The two walked in silence for a little while longer, until they reached the volleyball gym at Karasuno. Asahi withdrew his hand, but Noya secretly wanted it to stay there forever- he needed that assurance- his own words and promises weren’t going to last him forever. Someday he might get home and-  
  
Nishinoya didn’t want to think about that.  
  
“Noya-san! Asahi-san!” The cheerful Hinata yelled, already in uniform, rushing to meet the two at the door. The others were in the gym, some staring at the two who just showed and the others still practicing. Asahi thought he saw Suga give him a mischievous grin,but it could have well just been his imagination. “Come on! We can’t start without you two!”  
  
Asahi turned to Noya, gave a kind smile which Noya returned as if nothing was wrong, and the two walked into the gym together.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


“Yuu, you’re daydreaming again,” his teacher reminded him. The class gave a half-suppressed laugh as Nishinoya tried to collect himself.  
“Huh? Oh, sorry, sensei…” He muttered an apology.  
  
“Now then…” Noya’s teacher continued with their lesson. Noya didn’t want to be ridiculed again, so he tried his best to focus, but his mind always drew itself back to the events of that morning.  
  
_Are you sure you’re okay?  
You have a bruise on your chin.  
What’s wrong?  
I didn’t know being a libero was that demanding._  
  
_Yep_ , Nishinoya figured, _Asahi definitely knows that something’s up_. Noya sighed, taking notes on his paper. As he wrote, he recalled the feeling of Asahi’s hand against his own, how concerned Asahi sounded as he talked, the hateful glare his father gave to him and Asahi…  
  
Noya had already braced himself for the what would follow when he got home after practice.  
  
After more of the teacher’s lesson, the bell finally rang, and everyone in the school seemed to give the same sigh of relief that followed the end of every diligent day, more so today since it was the end of the school week. As Yuu gathered his things, his teacher mumbled, “Nishinoya,” and beckoned the student over. When the class was empty and everyone else had already left, the questions came again.  
“Are you alright, Yuu?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” his signature grin spread across his face as the lie fell out of his mouth for the millionth time.  
  
“Is volleyball more… taxing than usual?” His teacher pointed to the bruise on his chin.  
  
“Yep.” Noya answered.  
  
“I’m not an expert with psychology, but you looked really distracted today.”  
  
“Yeah-”  
  
“More than usual.”  
  
Noya stopped; his smile fell. “What do you mean?”  
  
“It can’t be just volleyball that’s consuming your mind like this. There has to be something else, Yuu, I just don’t imagine a sport can be responsible for all the distraught you must be feeling…”  
  
“No, it’s fine-” Noya just wanted the conversation to be over. He was trying his hardest to leave, but every time he tried to conclude, he just got interrupted.  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“I’m sorry, sensei, I have been distracted lately. I’ll be fine, give me a few days-”  
  
“Is it something at home?”  
  
Noya could feel his heart skip a beat. He frowned, shaking his head and lying, “No.” He took a step towards the door. “Really, I have to get to practice, I was late yesterday…” Nishinoya left the room with a half-hearted wave, before his teacher could say anything.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


While volleyball practice was always a highlight of his day, Yuu didn’t really feel like going. Of course, it was always a better option than going home (which he always tried to spend the least time there possible), but today he didn’t want anyone else to question him about his home life. It had been enough when Asahi asked, then when his teacher asked, he felt shame. Noya knew there wasn’t another option: he had to hide it, but he didn’t want to. He felt horrible when he had to cover up his pain with another broken grin. How he desperately wished he could find the words and time to tell Asahi, “ _my father is abusive,_ ” but he knew that if he did, he’d risk both his and Asahi’s safety.  
  
_You can’t bottle it up._  
  
Noya frowned, running his hand through his hair as he entered the gym. As usual, Ryu was waiting for him by the door, already in his jersey. “Noya-san!” Tanaka yelled joyfully, clapping his friend on the back. “Hurry and let’s get changed, Daichi won’t tell us our teams until everyone’s ready!” Noya beamed, running to the club room with Tanaka chatting at his heels.  
  
“Did you see Kiyoko-san today?” Ryu yelled. “Well some first years were gawking at her in the hallway, and I made sure to let them know who was in charge.” He continued, not letting Noya answer his question. “Look, there she is…”  
  
“Nice, Ryu,” Nishinoya laughed. “Mind giving me a moment to change?”  
  
“Of course!” His friend chirped as Noya entered the club room, slinging his backpack on the floor. Noya glanced up and standing there- just his luck- was Asahi.  
  
_I can’t let him see the scars._  
  
Noya smiled and waved, and Asahi returned the gesture. “Finally here, huh?” Asahi said, tying a hairband around his head.  
  
“Yeah, the teacher wanted to talk me again about being distracted during class…”  
  
“Distracted?” Asahi asked. “What’s on your mind?”  
  
_I should not have said that,_ Noya thought. His cheeks felt hot and a crimson color spread across them. “Well, not math,” he replied. _Nice save_.  
  
Asahi smiled. “Well, I’ll let you get changed, Noya,” he said, walking out of the room.  
  
Noya touched his cheek, breathing a sigh of relief when he took off his shirt. _He didn’t have to see them_ , Noya thought as he traced the scabbed over cuts with his fingertip. He drew a shaky breath as his mind recalled the night before.  
  
_Damn it, Yuu.  
I could end your life right now._  
  
He rubbed away the tear falling down his cheek, swallowed the bitter and burning sensation in his throat, and threw the jersey on before anyone had the chance to enter the room.  
  
When everyone was ready for practice, Ukai gathered them and split them into two teams: different from the ones that morning. Nishinoya was forced to play against Asahi that morning, but now they were on the same team, along with Ryu, Suga, Tsuki, and Ennoshita. Yuu was excited; he was going to be able to play with Asahi and Ryu, and the rest of his team wasn’t bad, either. He also got to play against Hinata and Kageyama’s godlike quicks.  
  
As practice bore on, Ukai reminded them to block and block-follow every time they got the chance, and the team did just that. Nishinoya saved most blocks and received a lot of spikes. Every time, Ryu, Asahi, and Suga would cheer triumphantly, “Nice receive!”  
  
Nishinoya truly felt unbeatable, there on the court, surrounded by people he knew cared for him.  
  
_Who would ever care about you?_  
  
As Nishinoya received Kageyama’s dump, Suga’s voice rang, “Nice receive!”  
  
_My son is an abomination._  
  
The ball went up, heading in Ennoshita’s direction, who sent it to Suga. He set the ball, tossing it to Asahi, who jumped and slammed the ball so hard that it went past Kageyama’s and Daichi’s block.  
  
“Nice,” Nishinoya said, playfully punching Asahi on the arm (rather harshly, on accident). Asahi laughed in response, rubbing where his arm hurt, but he didn’t mind the pain and only focused on the grin covering Noya’s face.  
  
It was a genuine smile, unlike the smiles he received earlier that day. Knowing volleyball was a safe haven for Nishinoya, well, that made Asahi happy, and whatever hell was waiting for Noya at home… that didn’t.  
  
_I have to do something about this_ , Asahi thought. _I have to help Nishinoya._  
  
They played set after set. Sometimes the other team won, having Kageyama and Hinata in tow, but sometimes Noya’s team won with great receives and offense. Either way, by the end of practice, they had played eight sets, and each team won four times.  
  
Everyone was dripping with sweat when Ukai gathered them around. “We’re not going to repeat what happened yesterday, alright?” He laughed. “I thought since I let you guys out late, you could leave slightly earlier today.” The sun was in its descent over the horizon; usually the guys weren’t let out until after dark. “Remember, get here early tomorrow so we can set up for our practice match against Nekoma, they’re coming here from Tokyo and we don’t want to disappoint them.” Everyone cheered when they heard the name Nekoma- the two schools were close, Karasuno had never managed to beat them, and every time they played it seemed as though both teams had something new up their sleeves. The whole team enjoyed playing against Nekoma.  
  
“All right!” Ryu and Noya yelled in unison, like they always did when they got fired up. Suga and Daichi laughed at the two’s childish behavior. Ryu and Noya high fived.  
  
Asahi and Yuu were stuck putting up the net together again. As they folded it up, Asahi said, “You’re not going to run out on me today, are you?”  
  
“Nah,” Noya replied. He didn’t really have anything else to say.  
  
Asahi shrugged. “Alright.” The two were heading to the storage room when Asahi said something again.  
  
“Hey, Noya, since, well…” Noya looked up at Asahi, his interest piqued, “your situation at home obviously isn’t that great…” Asahi had his hand on the back of his neck, and he was blushing slightly, “do you want to stay at my house?”  
  
Noya stared up at Asahi for a moment. “I, uh…”  
  
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he added quickly, “I’d understand if you weren’t comfortable with it or anything,”  
  
“Actually…” Noya muttered. “I’d love to.”  
  
Asahi was surprised; he didn’t even think he'd be brave enough to spit out the question, much less receive an answer without Noya thinking that Asahi was a weirdo. The third- year smiled the same, gentle smile that he always did.  
  
“Thanks, Asahi-san,” Noya added. “And yeah, it’s not going great there, if you could tell.”  
  
Asahi nodded and said, “My mom’s on a business trip, so it’d just be us,” Nishinoya blushed at the statement, “but that’ll be okay, right?”  
  
“Of course!” Yuu replied, grinning wildly. “Let’s go!”

  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  


Orange light washed over the town as Asahi and Nishinoya walked together to the third- year’s house. The horizon was pink, and the atmosphere was shades of yellow and blue. Colors swirled in the sky as if partaking in an intricate dance; their reach spanned across the sky and touched the heavens. A light breeze was wafting through the air, pulling bright pink cherry blossoms from their branches and whispering through blades of grass. The hues of the sky gave the blossoms a warm tint, and dark shadows leapt out from behind everything the light touched. The balmy draft smelled sweet and earthy, like a strawberry field in midsummer. And as the two walked from Karasuno to Asahi’s house, they talked, however, they strayed from discussing Nishinoya’s history of scars and bruises along his body.  
  
“We’re going to crush Nekoma tomorrow!” Noya yelled passionately. Asahi chuckled. The breeze drifted through Noya’s hair, ruffling it ever-so-slightly, and the setting sunlight illuminated his eyes to a golden-brown caramel, making them sparkle with the brilliance of a thousand stars. Nishinoya held a galaxy in his eyes.  
  
“We’ve never even won a set against them, much less a game,” Asahi muttered. “Still, I’m looking forward to it; they’re always fun to play against. Their setter is extremely skilled, and really brings out the best in everyone. No, I don’t think we’ll beat them this time around, but we do come close every time…” The wind pushed the loose, chocolatey-brown hairs of Asahi’s bun out of his face. Nishinoya stared into his eyes- such a rich, dark brown that the warm, orange light was absorbed and made his eyes turn to a vivid color that was not unlike maple syrup. The syrupy eyes fixed against Nishinoya’s gaze, who was overwhelmed by the intense kindness flooding throughout Asahi’s features.  
  
“Don’t be pessimistic, Asahi-san!” Yuu yelled, playfully punching Asahi on the forearm (although not very lightly). The older boy sighed and rubbed his arm.  
  
“You have to stop punching me…”  
  
Nishinoya punched him again, laughing. “Oh come on,” he teased. “It can’t be that bad.”  
  
Asahi shook his head at Yuu’s childish antics. “Whatever, Noya,” he replied, hands clutched around the strap of his bag timidly. “So,” he tried to move the conversation along (which was easy, with such a loudmouth on the other end), “got any homework?”  
  
Once the note of the word ‘homework’ hit Nishinoya’s ears, he groaned loudly, throwing his head back. “Don’t ever ask me that on a Friday.” Asahi laughed in response. The third- year stared at Noya’s features, taking them in gently. The curve of his jawline into his pointed chin, his impish smile, the slanted eyes and dark eyebrows, and the dirty blond tuft of hair was highlighted against the inky black of the rest of his spiked up hair. “Seriously, Asahi-san. In my life, that word is banned.”  
  
“Homework?” An amusing smile settled on Asahi’s lips.  
  
“ _Banned._ ” Noya repeated, shoving his hands in his pants pockets.  
  
“That must be why your grades are terrible,” Asahi mumbled; Noya’s eyes widened at the remark.  
  
“Is that a challenge?!” He yelled, pointing harshly at Asahi, whose right hand was on the back of his neck in the bashful expression he seemed to repeat perpetually. The gentle giant found himself gazing into Noya’s almond eyes. A smile tugged at his lips; Asahi was…. What was the word he was looking for? _Charmed._ Asahi was charmed by Nishinoya’s glittering eyes, his wild hair, his child-like but roguish attitude.  
  
“Challenge?” Asahi asked.  
  
“Are you challenging me to make better grades?”  
  
“Uh, well… If you want to?”  
  
Noya fist pumped; Asahi shook his head. “Alright! From now on, I’ll get better grades than you!” Asahi laughed cheerfully- the note which spread happiness through his body and beyond it; the sound of his soft laugh reached out to Nishinoya with slender fingers and enveloped the small male, who began to laugh, too. But Noya focused on the way Asahi’s whole body trembled with joy, how his mouth, along with his whole face curved up, his eyes closed, the wind pulling his loose hairs out of his face, how one hand was wrapped around his backpack strap and the other in his pocket. The timeless grin on Asahi’s face made Nishinoya want to grab his head and pull it down, it made him want to spill his feelings right then and there.  
  
“Okay, Nishinoya,” Noya’s heart always did a little flutter when Asahi said his name, “we’re here,” and they walked up a driveway to a small house together. Bushes coated the outside of the house, branches bursting with flowers of all shades of pink, red, and orange. The two went around back, Asahi fishing out a spare key from his bag and unlocking the back door before they headed inside, just as the sun was ending its day-long journey across the sky and the stars and all their brilliance were beginning to shine.  
  
Asahi’s house smelled sweetly of vanilla.  
  
The scent smacked Nishinoya in the face. Vanilla reminded him of the days when he was a child, when nothing was wrong, when he had nothing to worry about, and when his father still cared. The house itself was neatly composed- nothing was really out of place, small pictures of Asahi and his mother decorated the mantle, along with one of Asahi as a child with both of his parents. (Asahi had barely ever mentioned his father. Nishinoya didn’t want to make Asahi uncomfortable and ask what happened, so he brushed the thoughts on the topic aside.)  
  
“Uh, Noya?” Asahi was worried by Nishinoya’s shocked expression. The smaller male shook his head, returning from the awed state.  
  
“Oh, your house feels so much like a home that I never thought I’d have,” Noya stared at everything, his eyes absorbing the kind feel of the place and his nose drawing in more scents like chocolate, and something fruity, but he couldn’t exactly place it… “it’s so warm, and I-” Asahi looked down at him, one eyebrow raised in curiosity with a compassionate smile. The two locked eyes, and Nishinoya felt his cheeks heat up slightly. He was probably blushing, but his mind moved past that. “I can feel love,” Nishinoya finished. Asahi’s cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink, and he broke the eye contact to stare into his house as he chuckled softly.  
  
“Well, it’ll just be us. Remember, my mom’s on a business trip, but she baked cookies yesterday, before she left-” Asahi stopped, because Nishinoya ran to the counter of the kitchen where a box of sugar cookies sat and began to pry it open and hoard at least six cookies for himself. He replied as he shoved the food in his mouth.  
  
“Wow, these are really good,” Noya _tried_ to say, but instead it sounded more like distressed dog noises. Asahi laughed, walked over, and grabbed a cookie. Noya continued shoving more cookies in his face. When he finished, he panted, “So it’ll just be us then, huh? What do you normally do at your house?”  
  
“Well, I do homework when I get here-”  
  
“ _Psh_ , so not happening.” Noya waved him off. “I practice the fine art of _waiting until the last day._ ”  
  
“I didn’t realize procrastination was a fine art.”  
  
“It is now.”  
  
Asahi shook his head in kind of an endearing way. “I’m going to do my homework, Noya. Whatever you end up doing is fine by me.”  
  
“Can I eat all the cookies?”  
  
“Sure. I’ll be in my room, it’s just down that hall and to the right.” Asahi pointed down a hall, and once Noya saw it, he grabbed his backpack and made his way down to his room, calling, “Drinks are in the fridge!”  
  
Nishinoya was grateful for Asahi’s hospitality. Eating sugar cookies and chugging glasses of water was infinitely better than facing his deadbeat of a father. And better yet, he was alone with Asahi; although the thought made him nervous, he also felt reassured.  
  
The sky outside was dark and littered with gleaming stars. Nishinoya stared out the window of the living room. The Azumane’s backyard was spacey, but filled with bushes and flowers that the outside was a rainbow of different colors. It made for a nice view for Noya as he thought about the events of that day. Everything had seemed so surreal- Asahi showing up…  
  
_Does your father even care about you?_  
  
Holding his hand...  
  
_You sound like you have to tell yourself that a lot, Noya,_  
  
Asahi asking him to stay over…  
  
_Your situation at home obviously isn’t that great…  
Do you want to stay at my house?_  
  
Noya grinned to himself; things were looking up, at least, for once in his life. But he didn’t think about what would happen when he got home. He didn’t think about what punishment awaited him. Noya didn’t want to think about it, because for once, he was happy.  
  
After some time of recollecting the day’s events, he finished off the box of cookies. Then, he stared in mock disgust at his backpack that sat on the floor. He was too ecstatic to do his homework (which would not match his mood). So he left it there, and made his way to Asahi’s room to bother him.  
  
Nishinoya was about to throw open the door and yell something along the lines of, “I’m here, Asahi-san!” or something even cooler, but as his hand wrapped around the doorknob, a note of something beautiful hit his ears, and he hesitated.  
Music.  
  
It was music.  
  
The enchanting sound slipped under the crack between the ground and the door. Although it wasn’t very loud, it seemed to fill the entire house, especially Noya, who was too beguiled to do anything other than listen. It was a delicate sound, tracing every curve of his body, seeping into his ears and into his mind, his heart; the words ran through his veins like his blood. Noya absorbed the words, feeling them with every pulse of his heart and all his soul.  
  
Then it hit him.  
  
Asahi was singing.  
  
It was a song he did not know, and he hadn’t heard of it before, but the lyrics resonated in his mind.  
  
_When you try your best, but you don’t succeed…  
When you get what you want, but not what you need…_  
  
Nishinoya set his hand against the door, drawing in a shaky breath and smiling. The song fit so oddly with his life full of pain and heartbreak and angst.  
  
_When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep…  
Stuck in reverse,_  
  
He heard Asahi take a breath, and continue with the song. Tears pricked at the corner of Noya’s eyes and his throat stung with bottled up emotion. He rested his head against the door, body quivering with the tears that threatened to spill. Noya was breathing in gasping sobs now, each breath bringing the tears closer to the edges of his eyes and soon his sight was blurry and his eyes were glazing over. He wiped at his eyes and tried to stop crying, but nothing worked.  
  
Nishinoya remembered when the beatings started. His father would strike him every time his eyes filled with tears, screaming, “ _Only the weak cry!_ ” His father beat that statement into him until Noya could not cry anymore. Nothing would bring emotion to Noya’s eyes and let it spill. Every lash, whip, and remark went straight to his heart, and the words resonated in Nishinoya’s mind, taunting him. They remained as whispers of his past, twisting his mind to what his father believed Nishinoya was. But he could not conjure up the tears. Bottling up his emotions was not his own choice. Not until the night before, when his father discovered Noya’s secret floorboard… then he had gone over the edge, Noya thought.  
  
_And when the tears coming streaming down your face...  
When you lose something you can’t replace…_  
  
My childhood, Noya thought. He took another shaky breath as he stared at the dark bruise on his left wrist. Noya had lost his childhood, his happiness, his everything when the beatings began… all because of Noya’s love and dedication for volleyball and his father’s addiction to inflicting pain and consuming large quantities of alcohol. Noya closed his eyes. This time he could not resist the tears any longer. They trailed quietly down his face, dripping down his chin and onto the t-shirt he threw on after volleyball practice.  
  
_When you love someone, but it goes to waste…  
Could it be worse?_  
  
Asahi knew Nishinoya was listening.  
  
The third- year heard his crush’s gasping breaths outside the door, he saw the doorknob shake with Noya’s hands on it, he heard the smaller male lean his head on the door.  
  
And that was fine. Asahi wanted Noya to listen, he needed Noya to let him knew that he cared, and he would be there for him in the dark times that no one else knew about. Asahi felt the hot tears sting his eyes, and he smiled, because he knew that he could help Noya…  
  
_Lights will guide you home…  
And ignite your bones…  
And I will try to fix you._  
  
Asahi stared at the door, feeling the tears trace paths on his face as they fell. Everything Nishinoya had to deal with… it was unfair. Asahi stood up and moved from his spot at his desk, abandoning his homework. He stood in front of the door, which on the other side stood Noya. He ran his hand down his side of the door as he continued the next verse of the song.  
  
_And high up above, or down below…  
When you’re too in love, to let it go…_  
  
Noya felt Asahi’s presence on the other side of the door, now he knew that Asahi knew that Noya was there, listening to his every word, letting the music seep into his soul and through his veins and his mind and heart and then he breathed the lyrics filled his lungs like oxygen, like the oxygen that he needed to live. He needed Asahi so he could live.  
  
_But if you never try, you’ll never know…  
Just what you’re worth…_  
  
Asahi had to go for it. He had to open this door, he had to remove the barrier between him and Noya.  
  
_Lights will guide you home…  
And ignite your bones…  
And I will try to fix you._  
  
As if on cue, Asahi put his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath before twisting it open. He didn’t care that his face was stained with tears, he didn’t care that a song reduced him to a sobbing mess because it did the same to Noya. And when the door suddenly opened in front of the second- year, Nishinoya gazed up at Asahi, and they each exchanged looks of total love. Both had tear-tracked faces, they were both breathing in gasping sobs, and both of their hearts were pounding in their ears but they couldn’t bear to be alone anymore.  
  
Asahi grabbed Nishinoya in a swift motion, and Nishinoya latched onto Asahi, digging his arms into Asahi’s back and his face into his chest, Asahi wrapping his arms protectively around the smaller, his chin resting on the back of Nishinoya’s head. Tears fell, wetting Asahi’s shirt but he didn’t care. They had each other. That was all that mattered.  
  
After a moment of hugging, Noya pulled away slightly so that he could see Asahi’s face. The taller was smiling down at Nishinoya gently, whose mouth was slightly open in awe; his face was wet and shining from tears.  
“Asahi-san, that song was… it was beautiful,” Nishinoya whispered, staring straight into Asahi’s eyes. He tried to say something else, but no other words came to Nishinoya’s mind, and he kept sputtering incoherently. Asahi drew in a breath of cool, clean air, and as a tear rolled down his cheek, he leaned forward, and with his hands pulling Nishinoya’s face up. Noya, realizing what was going on, stood on his toes.  
  
And they kissed.  
  
It was exhilarating, but soft. Noya didn’t realize he was holding his breath and he ignored the throbbing pulse of his heart. He felt Asahi’s fingers delicately trace his jawline and wipe away the wetness still on his cheeks. Noya leaned into Asahi, arms wrapped around his neck, desperately trying to get closer. Nishinoya channeled all of his past anger and suffering inflicted by his father into the kiss and made it passionate; Asahi let Noya lead. He felt the pent-up emotions Yuu had been holding for a long time. He felt every ounce of heartbreak the younger had experienced, and it was almost overwhelming. All the feelings Yuu had were prominent- love, hate, and depression.  
  
When they broke apart, both were speechless.  
  
Nishinoya slowly lowered onto the heels of his feet, breathing in slowly, just now noticing his slight pant. A goofy grin spread across Asahi’s face. The grin was contagious, and Nishinoya soon had a small smile on his face. A crimson color creeped up on his cheeks, and he stared down at his feet.  
  
“Nishinoya,” Asahi whispered. “What happened to you?”  
  
Who knew those four words could send Nishinoya back to tears. The grin fell from his face. He closed his eyes, trying not try cry again, but he couldn’t help it. Noya set his forehead against Asahi’s chest, still staring down. He felt Asahi’s hand slip in  
“M-my father,” Nishinoya sobbed. “He’s….”  
  
“Been abusing you.” Asahi finished for Noya, running his fingers through his hair. Nishinoya nodded, wiping at his eyes with his hand, and leaning in closer. He drew in a shuddery breath, composing himself before continuing.  
  
“It all started about a year and a half ago, he came home drunk and angry, and I was his punching bag. My mother never knew. She’ll never know.”  
  
“Oh, Yuu…” Asahi never really used his first name, but did anyway. “You should have told someone, you should have told me sooner, or Suga, or Daichi, or even Ukai at least,” Tears were falling down Asahi’s face, but he didn’t care.  
  
“No, he threatened me, I couldn’t…” he shook his head. “But every night I’d come home with a sense of growing dread… was he going to be there? Was I going to go to school the next morning with a-” his voice cracked “-a new bruise?” He continued in a low whisper. “But I survived it, for a year and a half…”  
  
“Noya, you’re a warrior.” His voice was soothing to Nishinoya’s ears, it made Noya feel like the pain was going away and everything would be okay again. Noya wanted to hear Asahi’s voice more, and more…  
  
“During class, I’d…” Noya swallowed his pride, telling Asahi this, “I’d doodle. I could never focus. I draw little doodles of- of you…” He shifted his eyes down, avoiding Asahi’s gaze; The third- year was blushing, but smiling. “And I’d keep them under a loose floorboard in my room, along with pictures of us from volleyball or whatever. They were an outlet, something I could look at as I heard my father pull up in the driveway. I’d see you, and everything would be okay.” Then Noya looked back up at Asahi. “Then he’d come home, he’d beat me, he’d call me any insult that came to his head. And one night… last night…” Asahi frowned, running his fingers through Nishinoya’s hair again (its smell was entrancing, like an earthy forest). “He found out what was under the floorboard.” Nishinoya slowly raised his t-shirt, revealing the scars underneath. Asahi looked down, and Noya averted his eyes. Asahi sighed, unhappy with the scars and his father’s harmful actions. He traced the scars with a finger- delicately, so he would not hurt Noya.  
  
“That’s why he was so hostile towards me when I arrived…”  
  
Noya nodded. “I’m sorry. It’s best you stay away from him… away from me.” He tried to push away, but in return only got hugged closer.  
  
“No, Noya. I won’t leave you.” Asahi said firmly.  
  
“You’re only going to get hurt.”  
  
“I…” Asahi lowered his voice to a whisper, and locked eyes with Noya, holding his broken gaze. “I can’t leave you, because I love you, Nishinoya.” He squeezed Noya’s hand.  
  
“I love you too, Asahi,” Noya paused, then laughed coldly. “Though I suppose that’s what threw me into this mess.”  
  
The two sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rhythm of the other’s breathing, and the beat of their heart. Noya held his face in his hands, suddenly, quiet tears falling again.  
  
“W-what am I going to do tomorrow?” His voice was a broken whisper. “I can’t…. I-I can’t go back there…”  
  
“Noya…”  
“I can’t stay here forever, you know it’s true.” He moved his hands around Asahi’s neck, staring him in the eyes. “What will everyone on the team say when they find out about this? What am I going to do?”  
  
“You mean… we.” Asahi said; Noya blinked. “You’re not alone anymore, Nishinoya. You don’t have to be.” Noya nodded, wiping his damp face on Asahi’s shirt. “I’ll be there tomorrow, with you. The others on the team will back you up. We care about you.”  
  
“Asahi-”  
  
“I’ll protect you.”  
  
Asahi inhaled, before singing again.  
  
_Lights will guide you home...  
And ignite your bones...  
And I will try to fix you._  
  
Nishinoya smiled. The only lights in the room were silvery traces of moonlight creeping through the windows, which gave the whole house a mystical glow inside. From this close, Noya could see the way Asahi’s brown eyes sparkled with a kind and loving intensity, and the concern which clouded them. Asahi saw the months of pain, suffering, heartbreak, and betrayal in Noya’s. Asahi had seen the signs in his eyes long ago. He had longed to do something about it forever. Now that he was here, and Noya would be okay, he smiled.  
  
“‘Night, Asahi.” Nishinoya yawned, snuggling up against the taller male, who seemed to be shocked by the younger’s actions. Asahi chuckled, laying next to Noya.  
  
“Goodnight, Noya.” His voice was deep and smooth and full of adoration.  
  
It was a minute before Nishinoya said anything else. He was thinking of something to say, something that expressed his gratitude. He was halfway through an intricate speech when he suddenly blurted out.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
It had seemed so long since Nishinoya had a true grin, not one that was hiding behind long weeks of torture. Not a grin which was held together by a few loose strings, ready to fall at any moment. It wasn’t a lie anymore.  
  
That night, Nishinoya Yuu adorned his wild, stupid grin as he laid, safe, next to Azumane Asahi, the love of his life.  
  
And Asahi felt the exact same way.

**Author's Note:**

> *worries about how I characterized everyone and if I put in waaaaaaaay too much detail and various other things about the story*
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed it!!! I definitely loved writing it, it was so much fun (but really sad) to write, and I love AsaNoya so much....  
> And, yes, that's where the fic ends. In case you didn't see the tags, it's an ambiguous ending. What happens after the events of the story is up to you, the reader: Do you want them to confront Nishinoya's father, and have him see justice for his actions? Go ahead and think that! Want them to be severely injured by Noya's father? Whatever floats your boat!  
> I probably won't be writing a second part; I really want the reader to interpret the events of the story and decide what ending they want to see. 
> 
> The story's not for me, it's for you.
> 
> //drops mic
> 
> (Thanks for reading!! leave a kudos/ comment if you enjoyed !! ^u^ )


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